how timely!

In relation to what I blogged about last time from next week UK employers are required to protect staff members from sexual harassment by customers, tradesmen and other people they are contractually obliged to have contact with during their employment (source), if they fail to do so they may be liable for damages. This is fantastic news for bar and restaurant staff across the country, although I'm not too sure how effective such a law would be in actually cutting down the amount of harassment by members of the public. The worst job I ever worked in terms of getting groped (also in terms of poor pay, levels of physical labour and the resulting blisters) was catering for weddings. The female staff members used to keep a running tally of how many times each of us had been groped by liquored up guests (the winner getting first dibs on the left over alcohol from the free bar, I never once attended a wedding where everything was finished - let me tell you that would never happen if I were the one throwing the party or, you know, attending it as a guest). There was nothing that our boss could have done about this whatsoever, short of physically removing every drunken uncle and groomsman from the room (leaving a grand total of about twelve guests in some cases), she was utterly powerless. It might be slightly more useful in a controlled atmosphere, taking another example from my experience (if a little by proxy) - one of my friends used to work for a transport company. The regulations concerning harassment were clearly laid out within the company itself but she did have trouble when dealing with outside contractors, her bosses felt that their hands were tied as they had no direct control over (or legal responsibility for) workers who weren't under their direct employment. This kind of legislation could have made her working life infinitely more pleasant.

To be honest any law that moves us towards a situation where workers are able to do their job free from harassment (and I'm not just referring to female employees here either - I once worked with a guy who was pestered relentlessly by a customer "on behalf of" her daughter, culminating in an offer of £10,000 for him to take her out dancing... did I mention this customer was incredibly drunk? And too rich for her own good?) is a step in the right direction.

As for you the lovely, and silent, commenters - any stories of workplace hideousness to share?

drinking on the job

For those of you who are slow on the uptake (or have the entirely rational response of tuning out most of what I say): I have the world's most boring job. My post shouldn't really, how shall I put it, exist and as such there are large periods of time where I don't really have that much to do with myself. (Seriously, a few weeks ago I got highly excited by the prospect of cleaning sinks as it was the most interesting thing I'd been given in months. I'm so very glad that my biochemistry degree from, woah, the third ranked university in Europe (how did that happen?) is going to good use)... As such I have to amuse myself by blogging, reading webcomics, inventing drinking games and learning about whatever random topic takes my fancy. The internet is a marvellous timewasting tool. But it hasn't always been that way. Oh no, every job I've ever had has been dull as hell (I'm a slacker, it's just the way I roll) but I haven't always had the glory of the interwebs to fall back on, I've had to find other ways to entertain myself.

Now, I hated working retail, I sold video games on pretty much the most expensive high street of London This meant spoilt kids with entitlement complexes and women who care so little about their husbands' credit cards that they don't even notice being overcharged by the price of one PSP (that happened to me not once but twice, and yes both times were accidental - what on earth do you people think of me?). But still my particular sector had its advantages, these mainly appeared in the form of demonstration models and DVDs. Our store TVs were supposed to play a DVD of upcoming video game trailers on some kind of endless demonic loop. You know what works really well? Replacing the DVD player with a gamecube. Fun fact: wavebirds work even if the console is on a separate floor. Good times.

But that's not the point of this post. Oh no. It's entitled "drinking on the job" and, because I am planning on doing just that this afternoon, that's what I'm here to talk about.

During my first year of Uni I worked at a cocktail bar alongside the ex Mr. TheOdd, it started off slowly, I covered his shifts while he was off shooting at things (oh yeah: he was a pretend soldier, don't think I've mentioned that before), but pretty soon (after getting someone fired - my, I am revealing my inner bitch today aren't I? Don't worry, it was justified) I was a fully fledged member of staff. Now, this particular bar was a weekend kind of a place, we'd be literally empty during the week (a typical night would see one, maybe two customers) but during the weekend we'd be packed solid on both floors (especially with one particular DJ playing) and rushed off our feet.

On the empty nights it was a pretty cool place to work, none of the "well I don't care if there's nobody in the bar you can go and check if any of the empty tables have magically spawned dirty glasses or ashtrays in the three minutes since you last checked" mentality that is rampant in a lot of places. No, on the slow days the ex Mr. TheOdd and I could sit at the end of the bar and do coursework if we had any, there was scrabble to play, food from the Greek restaurant next door (the lovely people delivered) and the TVs were hooked up to Sky so if we got really bored we could always watch extreme sports.

The most fun I ever had on that job was one random Tuesday evening when a group of bankers wandered in with some clients and decided to take us up on our "special offers". Our "special offers" consisted of £1 shots of Jager, butterscotch schnapps, sambuca and tequila that was probably meant to be used as an industrial solvent but somehow just got mislabelled. As they were the only customers in the bar they, of course, got my full attention. As I was the only female in the bar they, of course, bought me drinks.

Bar policy was that if a customer bought you a drink you damned well drank it.

Who am I to fly in the face of policy I ask you?

(I must state now that one of my most over used phrases in this kind of situation is "Well, it'd be rude not to.." it applies to everything I over consume: food, alcohol, boys, shoes...)

And so I drank with them, they insisted on buying me a shot and a drink for every round they had. Although I'm a teeny tiny little thing I am very capable of holding my own drinks wise so it didn't seem like that bad of a plan... Let's just say that I didn't manage to finish my shift. I have no idea how I got back to halls or why I had a bottle wine in my bag when I woke up the next morning on the floor of the ex Mr. TheOdd's room. He would have been mad at me for waking him up at some ungodly hour had he not stumbled in from one of his shifts the week before at 4am bursting through my door with the immortal words:

"Alex (dramatic pause) I ate (further dramatic pause with triumphant finger wagging) th' Scorpion (satisfied grin)."

And, as it turns out, indeed he had.

That being said, it's 12:30. I'm off to the pub.

...here we go again.

I haven't had a blog in years, and starting one isn't really on my to do list... except for one major factor which is the actual contents of my to do list.

Things I am avoiding doing today:

• Three weeks' worth of filing - because it will only take me about ten minutes and therefore can be put off indefinitely (if it doesn't take more than half an hour it really isn't worth doing).
• Emailing Miss F about wedding travel arrangements - because then I'll have to commit to booking a B&B and a train ticket, spending money is only fun if there's instant gratification involved.
• Putting through my orders - because I know someone is going to turn up at 4:00 with something urgent for me to do so I may as well leave everything until then.
• Writing 1200 words on backpacking in Fiji - because I've missed the July deadline so I don't get paid for it until August regardless of when I get it done.
• Flat hunting - because the very prospect of it makes my toes curl. Plus: it will involve me speaking to estate agents.
  

....and (this is the big one):

• Filling out a job application form. Deadline: tomorrow. Although it's useful that I have it as I can't actually do anything else from my list because the application is more urgent than everything else and hence must be done first.
  

God, I suck at life. Although I'm impressed that I can justify my suckitute, which is something at least.

Things I am doing instead of the things on my to do list today:

• Debating what colour to dye my hair this evening.
• Starting a blog.
• Rearranging our suppliers list.
• Commenting on Pajiba.
• Taking inventory of the stationery store.
• Arranging Friday night.
• Watching YouTube clips without sound.
  

It's an annoying mix of actual work and slacking which means I'll be feeling too guilty to take a lunch break. Again.

And that's my justification for starting a blog. Hooray.